It is a well-known cliche' that oil and water do not mix. It doesn't matter how hard you stir or shake it, when you finish, it will separate back to two distinct layers of oil and water. However, if you add some soap to the mix, then the two can become one liquid which is neither oil nor water but something else entirely.
The same is true of another saying that you cannot mix fire and ice because one will destroy the other. However, if you do put them together what you will get is warm water, again something that is a combination of the two.
People are the same as either of the above or any other set of opposites you can imagine. Each brings particular characteristics to the relationship that may not seem to mix well with the other. It is what they do with the differences that make the difference. The differences can continue on for years as each tries to maintain their individuality. What is needed is a substance like the soap that is added to the oil and water. That is not a "what" but a "who". The best "who" for this is God. It takes more than just his presence, but rather the willingness of the two individuals to allow him into the relationship and to follow what he teaches us about the way he wants us to live.
The bible is certainly the primary source for that, but there many books that have been written on the subject and priests, ministers and rabbis who are there to teach us and lead us. On top of that, there are counselors who have been trained to guide people, not just according to the guidelines of psychology, but also in God's way.
Are you the oil or the water? Are you the fire or the ice? Are you sticking with what you are or are you open to change? If you are in a relationship and you are insisting on keeping your identity, then you cannot become something new. Do you reject the soap that can change you into something new and exciting? Are you avoiding the proximity of the other so you cannot change into something warm and comforting? If so, then you are avoiding the plan that God has laid out for us. It was never in his plan for us to be alone, ever since the first couple trod the land. Are you afraid of the change, that you will lose yourself? In a sense you may. You will lose part of yourself in the other person and, and at the same time, gain a part of them to make a whole new being, a new life force. Remember what it says in his book, that a man will leave his mother and a woman leave her home and the two shall become one.
That is the plan God laid out for us from the very beginning. Since it is his design, it is one of perfection. How can you go wrong with a perfect plan?
