Most of us have ridden on a roller coaster at one point in our lives, except for those people who have taken one look at the hills, valleys, twists and turns and said, “There ain’t no way I’m going to ride that thing.” Regardless of whether it is a small coaster at a county fair, a large one at the state fair, or one of the behemoths at a theme park like Disney World or Six Flags, they all have some common characteristics. That first long climb uses a chain pull to drag the string of cars to the top of the first hill, and then there is that first long drop. After that there are more hills, more drops, violent twists and turns, and always the screams of those having fun…and of those who would like to leap off in mid-ride. Some of the rides in theme parks are indoors where creatures and scary people leap out of the dark to further frighten and thrill the riders.
Life has been compared to many things, like a bowl of cherries (watch out for the pits!). In this case, it is also much like a roller coaster ride. That first long climb is like growing up, going to school, getting that part time job in high school, and heading off to college or taking some other career move. The chain pull is the help we receive from parents, teachers, mentors, and pastors. That first drop is the first time you are on your own, with no real backup plan, responsible for yourself. Oh, your parents may assure you they are there to help out when you run into a problem you can’t handle, but the truth is you are taking the plunge yourself. Experience comes in terms of the next climb, which is using the momentum of the first drop to make it to the top and then the next set of drops and climbs. The turns are the sudden changes you make in the direction you had been heading and you or life has whipped you off in a different direction. The people who designed the ride planned for the force of gravity and the physics of motion to give you a thrilling ride. Just like the ride, life starts to slow down at the end and gently coasts to a stop at the station. Then it is off to some other destination.
God has a place in the roller coaster ride of life as well. That first climb is when we, like Jesus, grow in age, wisdom and grace. He wants to prepare us for life ahead, through the teaching we receive from parents, church, and others who pass in and out of our growing up years. That first drop is the first time we have to experience a setback in our life, when we get tested for the first time. It could a lost relationship, a death in the family, financial bad news, or anything that gets us to the point of wondering if God is really on our side and how he could let “this” happen. As we recover from whatever has befallen us we gain the next hill, only to again have life surprise us when we don’t expect it. Life will continue to deal out the ups and downs and the unexpected curves. The good thing is that God, like the safety devices that keep the car from flying off of the tracks, is always there for us. As we gain in wisdom and grace throughout life, we continue the ride until, like the roller coaster, we slow down and come to the end of the ride. Our departure from the car takes us to another, better destination.
You are probably wondering why you have to go through the periods of trial and victory as you go from birth to the final destination. In a way, it can be compared to the process of building strength through weight lifting or working out is some way. Muscle gets built up through the process of destruction. Exercising a muscle actually destroys it slightly. As it heals itself, it grows in strength, only to be go through the same cycle again as the exercising continues. It is the spiritual roller coaster process. God lifts us up, only to allow us to fail, and in recovering from that failure, we gain in strength to withstand the next trial, and recovery. God allows us to have our faith tested and rewarded over and over. As we gain in spiritual strength, we are better able handle the attacks on us by that familiar enemy, Satan. At those times when we don’t feel we are strong enough, all we have to do is call on him to help us to climb back up the hill, just like another chain pull on the roller coaster.
Throughout the Bible, Old Testament and New, the heroes of the Bible are tested and made stronger. Look the trials of Job or the growth of Peter after his denials. Job lost everything and, because he kept his faith in God, he was rewarded with twice as much as he lost. Peter recovered from his denials and grew to be the leader of Christ’s church on Earth. We get tempted, tested, we fall and then gain the knowledge and strength through our recovery to help us grow in our knowledge and love of God and his ultimate gift at the end of our life.
Where are you in your ride? Is it a time of trial, which gives you the opportunity to flex your muscles against the Enemy and seek and receive God’s help? Is it a time of building and growth and being in receipt of his favor and gifts in the natural? Your spiritual life and your temporal life will experience the climbs, rides, falls, and turns. Regardless of the point in the ride in which you find yourself, you can be secure in the knowledge that you have the best safety device there ever was: God. Are you ready to ride?
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Monday, March 23, 2015
This Is The Life!
I was driving down the highway the other day and the Jeep Wrangler in front of me had a cover on the spare tire that read, “This Is The Life!”. I don’t know anything about the driver or his life, but if his attitude towards it was accurately reflected on his spare tire cover, then it must be pretty good. Shortly after that, he took an exit and I continued on my journey. I didn’t get a chance to look at him, so I don’t know if he was young or old or somewhere in between. His statement on the tire cover stuck with me throughout the day and finally made its way to this writing.
How many of us really enjoy what we are doing in our daily lives? Most of us have to work, some don’t have to but do anyway because their either enjoy what they are doing or have nothing else to do. There are those few who don’t work, don’t want to work and can enjoy their lives through their hobbies, volunteering, or just doing whatever they wish to do. Do you, ten minutes after you arrive at work, throw out your arms and proclaim, “This is the life!”. Probably not. I know that I don’t do that either.
That statement on the tire cover implies a certain level of pleasure, of enjoyment, of good feelings. I will never know if the driver of the Jeep really felt that way or if the saying on the tire cover was just something he or someone else put there. I hope it was the former. I am sure all of us would like to feel that way about the way our lives are, not just now but in the future as well.
Our attitude toward life is under our control. We get to choose how we act or react to whatever is happening to us at any moment. We can choose to be sour and grumpy when times are easy and without stress or we can choose to be upbeat and cheerful even when the world seems to be attacking us from all sides. There are certain limits as to what we can do to others. We can’t make the grump cheerful or the cheerful person grumpy. Regardless of what someone may tell us, we cannot make that person angry; they make a choice, conscious or otherwise, to be angry. Conversely, we can’t make the person who is feeling depressed or sour to feel up and nice. We can, to some extent, create the situations which gives the opportunity to change. We just can’t force it.
So, how does God figure into all of this? Simple. He can’t force us to be one way or the other, either. It is that old free will gift that he gave to us. He can create the situations that allow us to choose how we want to react or behave and then it is up to us to make that choice. Through the words in the Bible and the ministers who bring teaching and interpretation, he has given us a guideline that tells us what he expects us to choose. We have that God-given right and he can’t take it away. It is your choices that will determine what kind of life you will have, here and hereafter. Will you make the choice to go up or down?
Just picture yourself for a moment when this life is finished and you are about to start that eternal life. Just a moment after St. Peter opened the gate, shook your hand, and welcomed you home. There you are, just one step inside that gate, seeing all of the wonder and splendor that God has waiting for you. Just throw out your arms and shout with all of your might, “This is the life, and I get to have it for all eternity!”
How many of us really enjoy what we are doing in our daily lives? Most of us have to work, some don’t have to but do anyway because their either enjoy what they are doing or have nothing else to do. There are those few who don’t work, don’t want to work and can enjoy their lives through their hobbies, volunteering, or just doing whatever they wish to do. Do you, ten minutes after you arrive at work, throw out your arms and proclaim, “This is the life!”. Probably not. I know that I don’t do that either.
That statement on the tire cover implies a certain level of pleasure, of enjoyment, of good feelings. I will never know if the driver of the Jeep really felt that way or if the saying on the tire cover was just something he or someone else put there. I hope it was the former. I am sure all of us would like to feel that way about the way our lives are, not just now but in the future as well.
Our attitude toward life is under our control. We get to choose how we act or react to whatever is happening to us at any moment. We can choose to be sour and grumpy when times are easy and without stress or we can choose to be upbeat and cheerful even when the world seems to be attacking us from all sides. There are certain limits as to what we can do to others. We can’t make the grump cheerful or the cheerful person grumpy. Regardless of what someone may tell us, we cannot make that person angry; they make a choice, conscious or otherwise, to be angry. Conversely, we can’t make the person who is feeling depressed or sour to feel up and nice. We can, to some extent, create the situations which gives the opportunity to change. We just can’t force it.
So, how does God figure into all of this? Simple. He can’t force us to be one way or the other, either. It is that old free will gift that he gave to us. He can create the situations that allow us to choose how we want to react or behave and then it is up to us to make that choice. Through the words in the Bible and the ministers who bring teaching and interpretation, he has given us a guideline that tells us what he expects us to choose. We have that God-given right and he can’t take it away. It is your choices that will determine what kind of life you will have, here and hereafter. Will you make the choice to go up or down?
Just picture yourself for a moment when this life is finished and you are about to start that eternal life. Just a moment after St. Peter opened the gate, shook your hand, and welcomed you home. There you are, just one step inside that gate, seeing all of the wonder and splendor that God has waiting for you. Just throw out your arms and shout with all of your might, “This is the life, and I get to have it for all eternity!”
Thursday, March 19, 2015
The Two Sentences
Ephesians 5:22-33
The first sentence is: “Wives, be submissive to your husbands.” Now, guys, before you jump to the wrong conclusion and tell your wife, “Honey, this guy says you have to obey me in order for us to be happy”, I must tell you that is not what it says. There is a lot of difference between being submissive and obeying. In this case, being submissive means something else entirely, and it has to do with traditional or stereotypical roles. Whether they work outside the home or not, wives typically have the role of running the household. They are usually in charge of seeing that it is clean, the kids fed and educated, and that everything runs smoothly and on time. While husbands are expected to help out with many of the tasks associated with these duties, the wives are, in fact, in charge. Regardless of how long and how hard they work at it, husbands just don’t always see dusty shelves, floors that need vacuuming, or hear kids with a problem. They may get better at it over time, but they don’t come by it naturally. So, in order to prevent chaos, someone has to be in charge, someone who can see all the puzzle’s parts, and that someone is the lady of the house, the queen of the castle, the wife.
Husbands, on the other hand, have the responsibility for handling everything outside of the home, including having a good job, planning for the future, providing the food and shelter, making sure the yard work is done and the cars are running, and keeping the lions and tigers (otherwise known as bill collectors) away from the castle gate. One of the big responsibilities is providing financial security, which can mean everything from planning the next vacation, to having enough money to send the kids to college, to retirement. Where conflicts can arise is when the wife takes her normal tendency to run things in the home and moves it into the husband’s area of responsibility. This is where “being submissive” comes in. Wives, it doesn’t mean you don’t get to have your say; in fact, it is a dumb husband who doesn’t seek his wife’s wise counsel and advice. It just means let him have the final say in his areas of responsibility, letting him take care of the family unit. After all, that is just what he promised you he would do when you got married, didn’t he? Make him the king of the castle, and he will treat you like the queen you want to be. Or, you can tell him over and over how to do it your way until he does, and then deal with your frustration caused by his weak leadership, or until he gives the whole job of family leadership to you. If you succeed at getting him to do it your way consistently, don’t complain that he doesn’t show the leadership at home that he shows on the job. Husbands, your responsibility is to lead, and lead wisely. Make sure you do it well.
The second sentence is: “Husbands, love your wives.” This sounds like another no-brainer, doesn’t it? Don’t you tell her you love her at least once a day, get her a card and present for her birthday, and remember to take her out to dinner on your anniversary? Well, there is more to it than that, husbands. Loving your wife means putting her first, putting her needs before yours. Her bottom-line needs are to feel secure, safe, needed, and loved. Loving you is something that just comes naturally to your wife; it is part of “taking care of the household and everything in it.” You, with your external focus, have a tendency to not focus on what is inside the house, but to focus on yourself and the outside. What do you do when you first see her when you come in from work? Loving her means going up to
her first and giving her a quick hug and kiss before you ask about supper or start watching television. If you meet her somewhere, for instance a get-together with friends, then giving her a quick squeeze and a peck before saying hello to your friends gives her a simple message: It says, “I love you and you are more important than anyone or anything else here.” Is your excuse for not doing so, “That just isn’t me”? Or, do you say, “I can’t say, ‘I love you’ in public. It makes me feel uncomfortable.” If that is the case, then it is time for you to change that part of you, right now! It is time to put “macho” aside and become a whole man, one who isn’t afraid to show his wife, and the whole world, just how important she really is to you.
Beyond these obvious ways, loving your wife can also be as simple as getting up and going to the store at night when she asks you to go instead of waiting until your favorite television show is over (and having to be reminded because you forgot), and then buying her a single rose instead of getting that sports magazine for yourself. It can be making sure she has some cash in her billfold without her having to ask for it. It can mean noticing that she is tired and, even though you are also tired, taking care of the nightly kitchen chores, or giving her that foot rub or back rub you were about to ask her to do. It may mean taking the money for your new computer or SUV and putting it into the retirement fund or paying down a credit card, or taking her to a Bed & Breakfast for the weekend. It means loving your wife more than you love yourself, in ways both big and small. And that isn’t always easy, is it? Guys, it will pay dividends. If she feels loved and secure, then she will take care of her most important part of the household: you. That can mean telling you to take some time to go do your hobby, or not interrupting you when you are taking some time for yourself, or any number of other ways that she can make sure you are happy. It is an old, but true, cliché that says, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” One more thing: you do these things for her because you love her, not to find out what YOU can get out of it. Remember, your focus is on her, not on yourself.
They are just two simple sentences, but if you live them, they set up a circle of power in a marriage that can withstand anything that threatens it, whether from within or without. Wives want love and security, and are willing to take care of their share of the responsibilities of running the household, including their husband’s needs. Husbands want to be looked up to as the leader of the family, to be in charge of taking care of it, and protecting it. They are also willing to do their part of the responsibilities, including taking care of their wife’s needs, which means loving her above all else. When wives allow their husbands to be the leader, and husbands give their wives love and security, the results are truly, wonderfully awesome!
Sunday, March 15, 2015
The Stars Always Return
Have you ever gone for a ride in the country at night? Not just to arrive at a destination or to do some task or other, but just to get away from the lights and sounds of the city. If you have never done so, then take a quiet, clear night and just leave all of that behind and go. Pick a place with a clear view of the sky, clear of clouds and trees. Just look up and see the lights of the stars and maybe a planet or two. In the musical, “Les Miserables”, Inspector Javert sings of the stars in the heavens, how they can be counted on to return, season after season. And so they do, each season, one after the other.
Down through the eons, people planned everything from planting and harvesting to ceremonies in celebration of important events and festivities. The stars can give us time and direction. With a little education, watching the march of constellations across the night sky can tell us the time. For direction, we can always count on Polaris, the North Star. Its position remains constant as the others move around it.
Just as Polaris is constant, so also is the God who placed it there. As our lives revolve around him, throughout the years from childhood to adulthood and to the end of our days, the one constant point of reference is God. He is always there, always listening and doing, providing guidance as we navigate the oceans of our lives.
Some people think that God doesn’t hear us or doesn’t answer us in our time of need. We expect an earthly response when that isn’t how he operates. We have all tried to make a deal with God, asking him to give us a sign, like performing some kind of spiritual magic trick just for our entertainment or as proof that he is there. While we are waiting for the sign that we tell Him to give us, he answers in his own way…and in his time, not ours.
Do you really wonder if he hears us and wants to help? When was the last time you were having a crisis and didn’t know which way to turn? All of a sudden, a friend calls to talk to you and ends up steering the conversation towards the very subject that was causing problems for you. How many times has it been that you haven’t talked to that friend in a very long time? Why did he or she pick that day to call you? Perhaps it wasn’t a friend but rather a total stranger, one you will never meet again, and the conversation somehow comes around to the very words you need to hear to resolve your problem. Coincidence? Not hardly! It’s just God lending a helping hand in his own way, providing us with an earthly listener, so that he can help us. Most of the time, we don’t even make the connection between our need and God’s helping hand.
Take time away from those necessities. They really aren’t so necessary that you can’t escape to the country. Look up at the beauty and majesty and order of all the stars above you. Think about all of the stars and constellations that can be seen only from the Southern Hemisphere. There are thousands you can see and millions that you can’t see, all in their place, returning again and again. When you do, let yourself feel the awesomeness of God and be amazed at the order of all of those twinkling bits of light.
If God has taken such care of the stars, how much more care is he going to take of you, the greatest of his creations? If you haven’t made him the Polaris of your life, then don’t you think it is time?
Down through the eons, people planned everything from planting and harvesting to ceremonies in celebration of important events and festivities. The stars can give us time and direction. With a little education, watching the march of constellations across the night sky can tell us the time. For direction, we can always count on Polaris, the North Star. Its position remains constant as the others move around it.
Just as Polaris is constant, so also is the God who placed it there. As our lives revolve around him, throughout the years from childhood to adulthood and to the end of our days, the one constant point of reference is God. He is always there, always listening and doing, providing guidance as we navigate the oceans of our lives.
Some people think that God doesn’t hear us or doesn’t answer us in our time of need. We expect an earthly response when that isn’t how he operates. We have all tried to make a deal with God, asking him to give us a sign, like performing some kind of spiritual magic trick just for our entertainment or as proof that he is there. While we are waiting for the sign that we tell Him to give us, he answers in his own way…and in his time, not ours.
Do you really wonder if he hears us and wants to help? When was the last time you were having a crisis and didn’t know which way to turn? All of a sudden, a friend calls to talk to you and ends up steering the conversation towards the very subject that was causing problems for you. How many times has it been that you haven’t talked to that friend in a very long time? Why did he or she pick that day to call you? Perhaps it wasn’t a friend but rather a total stranger, one you will never meet again, and the conversation somehow comes around to the very words you need to hear to resolve your problem. Coincidence? Not hardly! It’s just God lending a helping hand in his own way, providing us with an earthly listener, so that he can help us. Most of the time, we don’t even make the connection between our need and God’s helping hand.
Take time away from those necessities. They really aren’t so necessary that you can’t escape to the country. Look up at the beauty and majesty and order of all the stars above you. Think about all of the stars and constellations that can be seen only from the Southern Hemisphere. There are thousands you can see and millions that you can’t see, all in their place, returning again and again. When you do, let yourself feel the awesomeness of God and be amazed at the order of all of those twinkling bits of light.
If God has taken such care of the stars, how much more care is he going to take of you, the greatest of his creations? If you haven’t made him the Polaris of your life, then don’t you think it is time?
Thursday, March 12, 2015
The Humor Sense
It is a fact that we all of the five senses, the ones that we use to interact with the world around us, animal, vegetable, mineral and people. Some people also claim to have a sixth sense, a paranormal ability like Extra Sensory Perception (ESP), or clairvoyance or any of a number of other abilities related to that field. Most people also have a seventh sense, a sense of humor. Humor varies from person to person, culture to culture, and country to country. What is funny in one place may not make any sense to someone who is not from there. There are those people who have rather dour personalities and don’t see humor in anything.
When we think about God, we usually think of him as the artistic representation of an old man with a beard, flowing robes, and a stern look. We don’t think about God as having a sense of humor. We see him as stern, loving, and all-everything. For some reason we don’t look at God as the source of what is funny in the world. We look at ourselves and others with various senses of humor and, since we are made in the image and likeness of God, it is reasonable to believe that God likes a good joke now and then. We know about the stories of creation and how he made the animals and plants and man. If you want to know if God has a sense of humor, just look at the platypus the next time you go to the zoo or look it up online. The platypus is a mammal, but it is an egg-laying, duck-billed, beaver-tailed, otter-footed mammal. It is as if when God got through creating the animals, he had a bunch of parts left over and put them together in a hodge-podge fashion. Hence, the platypus.
There are a lot of people, well-meaning people, who believe that we should always be serious when we talk to God, talk about God, pray to God. We don’t see much in the way of humor in the bible and people carry that on into their spiritual lives. Yet, how many times have you been listening to a sermon and the pastor made a point by saying something funny or telling a joke? What if there was a movie about Jonah in the belly of the whale, except the actor who played Jonah was a comedian? Can’t you just imagine for a moment the humor of seeing him slipping and sliding around, falling into whatever was really yucky, yelling back at God? Yes, he finally got the message and told God he would obey, but just think how that in-between time had to have been.
We have to be reverential towards God. He is our creator. But being reverential doesn’t mean walking around looking like we just bit into a sour pickle. It means doing everything we do with him in mind, even to having funny experiences and telling jokes. If we all have a sense of humor, where do you think it came from? Are we not made in his image and likeness?
When we think about God, we usually think of him as the artistic representation of an old man with a beard, flowing robes, and a stern look. We don’t think about God as having a sense of humor. We see him as stern, loving, and all-everything. For some reason we don’t look at God as the source of what is funny in the world. We look at ourselves and others with various senses of humor and, since we are made in the image and likeness of God, it is reasonable to believe that God likes a good joke now and then. We know about the stories of creation and how he made the animals and plants and man. If you want to know if God has a sense of humor, just look at the platypus the next time you go to the zoo or look it up online. The platypus is a mammal, but it is an egg-laying, duck-billed, beaver-tailed, otter-footed mammal. It is as if when God got through creating the animals, he had a bunch of parts left over and put them together in a hodge-podge fashion. Hence, the platypus.
There are a lot of people, well-meaning people, who believe that we should always be serious when we talk to God, talk about God, pray to God. We don’t see much in the way of humor in the bible and people carry that on into their spiritual lives. Yet, how many times have you been listening to a sermon and the pastor made a point by saying something funny or telling a joke? What if there was a movie about Jonah in the belly of the whale, except the actor who played Jonah was a comedian? Can’t you just imagine for a moment the humor of seeing him slipping and sliding around, falling into whatever was really yucky, yelling back at God? Yes, he finally got the message and told God he would obey, but just think how that in-between time had to have been.
We have to be reverential towards God. He is our creator. But being reverential doesn’t mean walking around looking like we just bit into a sour pickle. It means doing everything we do with him in mind, even to having funny experiences and telling jokes. If we all have a sense of humor, where do you think it came from? Are we not made in his image and likeness?
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Hook, Line And Sinker
John 20:29 “blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed”
Every once in a while, when fishermen get together to brag about their exploits, the fish they have caught and the big ones that got away, eventually they will talk about a fish that was so eager to take the bait that it swallowed everything, the hook, line and sinker. It probably ranks in belief with the size of the one that got away. Over time, this has taken on the identity of a cliché and refers to people who are quick to accept an opportunity or dream without truly investigating it. It points out their gullibility, their willingness to believe everything they have heard and not looking at it in a skeptical way to see if it really makes sense.
The opposite of this kind of person is referred to as a “doubting Thomas”, named for the Apostle Jesus was addressing when he made the above statement. That person accepts nothing at face value and wants proof prior to belief. In this case, Thomas did not believe his fellow apostles had seen the risen Jesus and said he wouldn’t believe Jesus had risen and had appeared to the others until he had seen and touched the wounds. This is, of course, the source of one more cliché: “Seeing is believing”.
Believing in God is not the easiest thing to do. We don’t have the advantages of the apostles and disciples who lived at the same time as Jesus. They got to see him and witness his miracles and hear his teachings first hand. Today, we have the accounts of all of that in the Bible. God does expect us to accept his word that Jesus did indeed walk this Earth, preaching salvation and being the Savior the prophets foretold.
Those of us who are Christians believe in the Triune God: the Father, Jesus Christ, his son, and the Holy Spirit. Three persons, one God. As Christians, that is our belief, it is our faith. It is what we believe even though there is nothing to prove that fact using our physical senses. It is what we know. It defies logic and reason. As one Benedictine priest told us in high school, faith is the most illogical thing there is. Those on the outside looking in view us in a variety of ways, many of them uncomplimentary. What they don’t know and don’t understand, is we have accepted all of it. We have taken God into our lives hook, line and sinker, in other words, completely. There may be doctrinal differences between different denominations, but the bottom line is we believe, and more than that, we KNOW. We know that God exists and that Jesus Christ is our Savior.
Being a Christian isn’t easy. It requires us to do something that is unnatural. It means accepting the existence of God and not being able to prove it, to touch it. Those who don’t believe in God are just waiting on the sidelines, watching to see how we live out our lives. They are waiting to see if we follow what we profess to believe or just give it lip service. Perhaps they will see us and become believers in Christ.
You are in the unique position of living your life in such a way that swallowing that hook, line and sinker as a complete believer may be the very thing that someone else needs to see in order to become a believer in God and to become a Christian. You are not naïve. You are not gullible. Will you continue to believe, or will you spit the hook out and turn your back on God’s truth?
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Walking Backwards
Imagine for a moment a city sidewalk, with people, lampposts, stores, a trash can here and there. You have walked down streets like that at various times throughout your life. You may bump into a fellow walker, or graze a lamppost if there is a crowd, but most of the time it is just an uneventful stroll. You may be out for a walk or perhaps headed somewhere with a purpose. In any case, it is a common activity you can do without thinking about it.
What if, however, you decided to change the plan today? What if you decided to do something which made no sense, something totally illogical? What if today you decided to take the same walk backwards? You would certainly get an excellent view of the places you had been, the things you passed. You could watch the faces of the people following you, decidedly puzzled at your behavior. There is just one major problem: you can’t see where you are going. You will bump into people and objects that you can’t see. You might fall off the curb at the next intersection since you can’t see it coming up behind you. Walking backwards might be somehow entertaining for a brief period of time, but it would soon put you into trouble or create problems of any of a variety of descriptions. It just doesn’t make sense. It is something that a child might do for amusement, with friends around to guide or confuse him. Parents, particularly mothers, have a reputation for having eyes in the back of their heads. Children often feel this is true. The fact that children may believe it and mothers may claim it, doesn’t make it true. Walking backwards in reality does not make sense for a normally responsible adult.
Although you wouldn’t think of doing something as stupid as walking down a busy city sidewalk backwards, it is not unthinkable that you might be walking through life backwards. We are constantly told to have a goal, a dream, a plan to take you forward through life. We have to keep our eyes on the prize, whether short-range or long, otherwise we can’t arrive at our destination, right? While that is the way to navigate through life, whether on a city sidewalk or anyplace else, too often people do not do that with their personal or professional life.
In the professional arena, getting ahead is the name of the game. Onward and upward is the way to professional success. There are times when someone may decide they like where they are and decide to stay there. I once had a friend who worked for AT&T and enjoyed it. He lived in a small city and was a highly regarded repair technician. He was always up to date with latest improvements and changes and was well known throughout the community. On several occasions, he was offered the opportunity for promotion and more money. He turned the offers down each time because he enjoyed the work, the city where he lived and the limited opportunities that were there. He had found his niche and enjoyed it. Most of us, however, are not like my friend. We want to move forward. We also know people who look backwards in their jobs. They talk about past successes, pa st accomplishments, people and places they have been and known. They may not realize it, but they are trying to live backwards. In doing so, they have stopped moving forwards.
On the personal side, we see people who are always looking back. Too often this comes in terms of trying to manage their relationships with family or friends. Where it can come to an ugly head is in an argument with a spouse or child or friend. This is where the subject changes from handling the problem in the now and bringing up past offenses, past mistakes, things that have no bearing on the current problem. They are used as weapons to sting and hurt and maim the other person. Imagine a husband and wife in an argument when, instead of resolving the immediate cause, they start hurling memories at each other. These memories may have nothing to do with what started the problem. Things like, “Well, ten years ago you …” and “This is how you were when …”. God gave us the gift of memories, not to use as weapons of destruction, but to help us keep a store of knowledge to help us through life. He intended us to be able to learn from those things that were both positive and those that were negative. He intended for us to relive those moments of good times as children, and as adults with our spouse and our children. When we dig up those memories of past mistakes and hurl them as spears, we are not following His plan, we are not using the gift in it the way He intended. Instead, we are using it as Satan wants, to generate strife and anger, to tear down a relationship, to destroy something that God has put together for us.
So, what have you been doing with your life lately? Have you been walking backwards, using God’s gifts in a negative way? We all have confrontations with spouses, children, friends and other people. Are you handling the situation as it is in the here and now, or, are you tossing spears of the past back and forth, with the intent of creating hurt instead of healing the problem? Do you have to win at any cost or do you want to fix whatever is wrong and turn your eyes back to the future? Remember, the end prize is out there ahead of us, eternity with God. If we are always looking backwards, how can we know how to get to Him? Where might we arrive at the end of the day?
What if, however, you decided to change the plan today? What if you decided to do something which made no sense, something totally illogical? What if today you decided to take the same walk backwards? You would certainly get an excellent view of the places you had been, the things you passed. You could watch the faces of the people following you, decidedly puzzled at your behavior. There is just one major problem: you can’t see where you are going. You will bump into people and objects that you can’t see. You might fall off the curb at the next intersection since you can’t see it coming up behind you. Walking backwards might be somehow entertaining for a brief period of time, but it would soon put you into trouble or create problems of any of a variety of descriptions. It just doesn’t make sense. It is something that a child might do for amusement, with friends around to guide or confuse him. Parents, particularly mothers, have a reputation for having eyes in the back of their heads. Children often feel this is true. The fact that children may believe it and mothers may claim it, doesn’t make it true. Walking backwards in reality does not make sense for a normally responsible adult.
Although you wouldn’t think of doing something as stupid as walking down a busy city sidewalk backwards, it is not unthinkable that you might be walking through life backwards. We are constantly told to have a goal, a dream, a plan to take you forward through life. We have to keep our eyes on the prize, whether short-range or long, otherwise we can’t arrive at our destination, right? While that is the way to navigate through life, whether on a city sidewalk or anyplace else, too often people do not do that with their personal or professional life.
In the professional arena, getting ahead is the name of the game. Onward and upward is the way to professional success. There are times when someone may decide they like where they are and decide to stay there. I once had a friend who worked for AT&T and enjoyed it. He lived in a small city and was a highly regarded repair technician. He was always up to date with latest improvements and changes and was well known throughout the community. On several occasions, he was offered the opportunity for promotion and more money. He turned the offers down each time because he enjoyed the work, the city where he lived and the limited opportunities that were there. He had found his niche and enjoyed it. Most of us, however, are not like my friend. We want to move forward. We also know people who look backwards in their jobs. They talk about past successes, pa st accomplishments, people and places they have been and known. They may not realize it, but they are trying to live backwards. In doing so, they have stopped moving forwards.
On the personal side, we see people who are always looking back. Too often this comes in terms of trying to manage their relationships with family or friends. Where it can come to an ugly head is in an argument with a spouse or child or friend. This is where the subject changes from handling the problem in the now and bringing up past offenses, past mistakes, things that have no bearing on the current problem. They are used as weapons to sting and hurt and maim the other person. Imagine a husband and wife in an argument when, instead of resolving the immediate cause, they start hurling memories at each other. These memories may have nothing to do with what started the problem. Things like, “Well, ten years ago you …” and “This is how you were when …”. God gave us the gift of memories, not to use as weapons of destruction, but to help us keep a store of knowledge to help us through life. He intended us to be able to learn from those things that were both positive and those that were negative. He intended for us to relive those moments of good times as children, and as adults with our spouse and our children. When we dig up those memories of past mistakes and hurl them as spears, we are not following His plan, we are not using the gift in it the way He intended. Instead, we are using it as Satan wants, to generate strife and anger, to tear down a relationship, to destroy something that God has put together for us.
So, what have you been doing with your life lately? Have you been walking backwards, using God’s gifts in a negative way? We all have confrontations with spouses, children, friends and other people. Are you handling the situation as it is in the here and now, or, are you tossing spears of the past back and forth, with the intent of creating hurt instead of healing the problem? Do you have to win at any cost or do you want to fix whatever is wrong and turn your eyes back to the future? Remember, the end prize is out there ahead of us, eternity with God. If we are always looking backwards, how can we know how to get to Him? Where might we arrive at the end of the day?
Sunday, March 1, 2015
The Chief Cause
Those of you who were around in the early 1960’s will remember a singer/songwriter who came on the music scene named Roger Miller. He treated us to such songs as “King of the Road”, “England Swings”, and “You Can’t Rollerskate In A Buffalo Herd”. Among the whimsical and amusing songs was one with a serious message to it, “Husbands and Wives”. That song, “Husband and Wives”, released on an album in 1966, discussed a growing social trend, one which has continued to affect our society and generate countless studies: divorce. The words tells us about,
It is that last line that was Miller’s concern, just as true now as it was then, and likely has always been
and will be for a long time to come.
There is nothing wrong with pride. It is an emotion which is one of God’s gifts to us. It helps us to look at the tasks and actions which we perform and do the best we can. Pride is our motivation, our reward for doing it right, doing it well. It is the abuse of that emotion that causes problems. Proverbs 16:18 is often summarized as, “Pride goes before the fall.” The full quote is “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” That is why it is often included in the list called “The Seven Deadly Sins.”
Pride. Digging one’s heels in and maintaining that position even when the facts indicate it is time to
start lifting those feet and start moving towards a solution or compromise, is the creation of a problem, the point in time when it starts. None of us likes to admit it when we are wrong or have made a mistake. For some, realizing we are wrong and admitting it, is normal. It gives us a chance to apologize or ask forgiveness. Unfortunately, there are others of us who will do almost anything to avoid admitting we are wrong. It doesn’t matter if it is something small, like debating the accuracy of a memory of something minor in the past, or something bigger, like missing an important appointment or not paying a bill on time. It is the stubborn insistence that we are right regardless of who we have to insult or hurt in our insistence. It is what comes next that hurts the most. That happens when we find out we are wrong and don’t apologize, don’t admit we were wrong, and worse, figure out some way to make the other person still be wrong on some side issue.
When we do that in a marriage, we are setting the stage for nothing short of real trouble. It is a pattern
of behavior, a habit of acting or reacting to something that happens. Living with the same person day
after day leads to habits. Some are good. Some, like letting negative pride rule your side of the
marriage, are destructive and can only lead in one direction. If that is your habit, you can change it, but only if you want to do so. The alternative is to live in the land of strife, with your spouse constantly on guard against you, wondering when the next pride attack is going to occur. Now, isn’t that a wonderful way to have a happy marriage? The ultimate negative pride is believing you can change by yourself without help. You need a partner, someone with infinite patience who will be there and help you change. Can you think of someone better than the God you made you? Can you set your foolish pride aside long enough to ask Jesus to be there with you during your struggle to stop misusing pride?
Be proud of yourself, your spouse, your children, your job, and most of all your belief in God and His son who came to teach us how to live our lives in the way that He intended. Or, you can let negative pride rule your life, and, if you are married, ruin that which God put together.
Roger Miller was right when wrote and sang these words:
Now it is up to you to decide. Are you going to be the cause of the decline or are you going to be the cause of the climb?
“Two broken hearts, lonely looking like houses where nobody lives.
Two people each having so much pride inside, neither side forgives.
The angry words spoken in haste, such a waste of two lives.
It’s my belief
Pride is the chief cause in the decline in the number of husbands and wives.”
and will be for a long time to come.
There is nothing wrong with pride. It is an emotion which is one of God’s gifts to us. It helps us to look at the tasks and actions which we perform and do the best we can. Pride is our motivation, our reward for doing it right, doing it well. It is the abuse of that emotion that causes problems. Proverbs 16:18 is often summarized as, “Pride goes before the fall.” The full quote is “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” That is why it is often included in the list called “The Seven Deadly Sins.”
Pride. Digging one’s heels in and maintaining that position even when the facts indicate it is time to
start lifting those feet and start moving towards a solution or compromise, is the creation of a problem, the point in time when it starts. None of us likes to admit it when we are wrong or have made a mistake. For some, realizing we are wrong and admitting it, is normal. It gives us a chance to apologize or ask forgiveness. Unfortunately, there are others of us who will do almost anything to avoid admitting we are wrong. It doesn’t matter if it is something small, like debating the accuracy of a memory of something minor in the past, or something bigger, like missing an important appointment or not paying a bill on time. It is the stubborn insistence that we are right regardless of who we have to insult or hurt in our insistence. It is what comes next that hurts the most. That happens when we find out we are wrong and don’t apologize, don’t admit we were wrong, and worse, figure out some way to make the other person still be wrong on some side issue.
When we do that in a marriage, we are setting the stage for nothing short of real trouble. It is a pattern
of behavior, a habit of acting or reacting to something that happens. Living with the same person day
after day leads to habits. Some are good. Some, like letting negative pride rule your side of the
marriage, are destructive and can only lead in one direction. If that is your habit, you can change it, but only if you want to do so. The alternative is to live in the land of strife, with your spouse constantly on guard against you, wondering when the next pride attack is going to occur. Now, isn’t that a wonderful way to have a happy marriage? The ultimate negative pride is believing you can change by yourself without help. You need a partner, someone with infinite patience who will be there and help you change. Can you think of someone better than the God you made you? Can you set your foolish pride aside long enough to ask Jesus to be there with you during your struggle to stop misusing pride?
Be proud of yourself, your spouse, your children, your job, and most of all your belief in God and His son who came to teach us how to live our lives in the way that He intended. Or, you can let negative pride rule your life, and, if you are married, ruin that which God put together.
Roger Miller was right when wrote and sang these words:
“Pride is the chief cause in the decline in the number of husbands and wives.”
Now it is up to you to decide. Are you going to be the cause of the decline or are you going to be the cause of the climb?
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