Monday, September 28, 2015

Tug-O'-War

You know what the game Tug-O’-War is and how it is played, right? Well, maybe if you aren’t into physical games, you don’t. If that is the case, then imagine two people or two teams, each on one half of a rope, pulling in opposite directions. There is usually a mark or goal that one team has to pull the other team across. I have seen that mark be a line on the ground and I have seen it be a mud puddle. It is a matter of strength, technique, and a small factor of luck if the two opposite sides are equal. Do you use a strong, steady pull hoping to win with just brute strength, or do you use non-rhythmic tugs and jerks, hoping that someone on the other side loses a grip or footing, giving your team a momentary advantage in numbers? It is a game that is fun to do and fun to watch.

What if you were in a Tug-O’-War match by yourself, except instead of one rope, you had one in each hand, and maybe on a foot or two? Each rope would be pulling you in a different direction. On which rope do you concentrate now? You can’t do all of them equally, that takes too much concentration. You would probably feel as though the people on the other ends of the ropes are trying to pull you apart.

Life is like that multiple set of pulls. If you are married, you have your spouse pulling on one rope, the kids pulling on another, your job or profession pulling on a rope, and maybe your need for personal time or a hobby pulling you as well. You have to concentrate on one rope and then another, fighting to hold it all together. Sometimes it gets to be just too much in one direction and then we have to let one go, either permanently or temporarily. We think we just can’t do it all, not successfully anyway. What if we could have someone else grab one of the ropes and hang on for a while?

We do have a teammate, just sitting on the bench, waiting to get into the game. Do we ask for help, or do we continue to try to hang on by ourselves? It is sometimes a sign of stubbornness that keeps us from seeking the help that is just waiting to get into the game. Sometimes it is time to let go of that stubbornness and call for that second teammate, especially when that person is the one we call God. It is tough to let go and ask for assistance, but that is what He has told us He will do for us. He is there to help whenever and however we ask Him.

Maybe the marriage needs some help. All marriages go through periods of stress and have problems. So, we ask God for help to pull on that rope for a while until we can pull it across the win line. Perhaps our finances are a mess or there just isn’t enough to meet the needs. Asking God for some aid, in the right amount and at the right time, can have some surprising results. I am not talking about buying a lottery ticket with the odds stacked against you of 256 million to one. It is not unreasonable to ask God’s help in finding a better job, for more pay or one that allows for more time with family.
Which rope do you need Him to pull today? Since He has an infinite source of energy, He can even help pull on all of the ropes at the same time. The best way He can do that is for Him to be in the center and He can be there when we make Him the center of our life.

We aren’t just in a tugging match with the natural world; we also have to pay attention to the spiritual world. We can’t forget that Satan is also out there. Sometimes he is pulling against us but more deceptively, he sometimes appears to be pulling for us in one direction. The problem is that we can be tempted into a solution for one pull which can cause us to lose a grip on something else. That is the most dangerous time. That is when we need to have God at our center so He can alert us to Satan’s ploys, and help us to defeat him with God’s help and strength. That is when we have to see that the rope Satan is helping us pull is the rope we must let go. When we seek God’s wisdom and strength, we can see that tempting rope for what really is and by letting it go, we actually win.

What parts of your life are pulling you the most? Where do you need to concentrate your forces? Which rope needs that extra help that is always available? Which rope do you need to release? Those answers are all out there, just waiting for your question. He who has all of the answers is there for the asking. When are you going to ask?

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

The Random Deal

I confess. I am guilty. I love to play solitaire. I started back when I was a kid with a deck of cards. That was back when computers occupied whole rooms. Learning to shuffle was a skill I had to learn and my dad was a great teacher. I sampled different versions of the game and eventually settled on three or four favorites. The problem was that it takes time to lay out the cards before the game can begin. Enter the computer age and personal computers and that problem was solved. The computer shuffled and dealt. (As many of you know, solitaire on the personal computer was actually meant as a teaching tool to teach people how to use a mouse.) The problem in the early days was the shuffling was not as random as it should have been. Over time, the mathematical formulas used to shuffle became much more sophisticated and the results appear to be truly random.

So, what does that have to do with life? Look around you, look at the people to whom you are related, your friends, acquaintances, and strangers. Talk about random! It looks like it was a matter of just chance that said one sibling was blond and the other was a flaming redhead. Just about any physical characteristic can have a variance even between siblings, even “identical” twins. It really looks like God just sets everything up to chance and allows whatever is going to happen, happen. Is there any real planning being done on His part or is He just letting the randomness of chance determine who and what we are, how we look, and our talents and weaknesses?

God always looks out for our best interests…always. It certainly may not seem so at times when He tosses challenges and difficulties our way. He is the ultimate planner; very little happens that He hasn’t planned and prepared us for. Yes, we can mess up His plans. He has given us that right, the right to ignore what He wants us to accomplish. He has not dealt us a random hand. He has given us the necessary gifts and talents to accomplish what He wants us to accomplish. Some of us are musicians and others are mathematicians. Some are great military leaders and others are members of the clergy. Some enforce the law and others violate it. Wait a minute! That latter group is not using the gifts and talents that God gave them. Still, that is a measure of the randomness of God. It is how we use what He has given us that is the random factor. He dealt us the cards, but it is up to us how we play them. That is the one random factor in God’s plans.

We are not alike. We are as different as the grains of sand on a beach. We may resemble family members, but what we are and how we use our gifts is under our control. God dealt us the hand He wanted us to have. In a sense, He stacked the deck. Every hand is a winning hand; every one of us can win the ultimate pot, life with God in Heaven for all eternity. What are you doing with your cards? How are you going to play them and in what order? If you play your cards right, you get to win the ultimate prize. What are you waiting for? Pick up your cards and play your hand to win. It is guaranteed as long as you follow the rules.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

That @#$%^& GPS!

Do you remember when you had to get out a map to find out how to get from one place to the next? I am talking about the big paper maps, the kind that you had to fold back up after you finished with it. It always took two or three tries to get it folded right, even when you thought you followed the folds. We went from that to map books and then maps on the Internet, like Google Maps or Map Quest. Since they were awkward to use in the car, we would end up printing the Internet maps and the directions so we could navigate from one place to another.

Finally, a fully electronic system came on the market, the Global Positioning System or GPS. When they first came out for civilian use, they had a built in error factor. It wasn’t in the units themselves, but it was built into the satellites’ programming. It was felt at the time, that the error was necessary in order to prevent the “enemy” from using our GPS system to target our cities. At last, someone realized that if “they” launched a nuclear strike, an error of a hundred feet or so wasn’t going to matter if the weapon could destroy everything within a five mile radius. Thus, the consumer version of the GPS hit the market and it became very common to see the small units mounted on windshields, or built into the car’s entertainment system.

I use the GPS daily for my work. Most of the time, when it tells me I am at my destination, I am right in front of the client’s house. They are most amazing and I don’t know how they do what they do. They can even keep with up with my occasional missed turn, to the tune of “Recalculating” as the computer finds an alternate route.

The problem with the GPS is not its inherent accuracy, but with the accuracy of the stored maps. I have been directed to cross rivers where there is no bridge, or being told to turn down a road that no longer exists, or being told a house is right in front of me when there is nothing there but trees. Then I lose my fondness for that @#$%^& GPS. There is nothing like driving down a road when the GPS says you are in the middle of a field and it simply waits until I get back onto the road again.

As human beings, wonderful creations of God, we have a roadmap we can follow to get where we are supposed to go. It isn’t drawn out for us, the directions are strictly verbal. All we have to do is follow them. Fortunately for us, God picked a special group of people to put his words into format we can use, the set of directions known as the Bible. Whether we use the printed version or one on a tablet or smart phone, we always have those directions available to us. In its own way, it is also a GPS, except this time it is God’s Positioning System. Are you lost? He can help you find your way back to him. Do you have a good destination in mind? He is going to lead you there. Do you have a choice of paths you can take and you don’t know whether to go right or left? Just program the correct destination into God’s Positioning System and you will take the right fork every time. There are no errors in his maps, no incorrect directions. All of it is clear and error-free.

Those of us who use the Global Positioning System get tired of that voice telling us which way to turn or letting us know she is “Recalculating”. The good thing is that when we are using God’s Positioning System, we have to just listen to his son's voice in order to know which way to go and to keep on the correct road. If you listen to that voice, you can never go wrong, never take the wrong path. If you come to the raging river, you will always find a bridge. If you are lost in the forest of the world’s distractions, he will show you the clear path. Regardless of where you are in the world, or in what situation, God’s Positioning System will always lead you to his home. All you have to do if follow his son, Jesus’s, voice.

Friday, September 4, 2015

It’s That “C” Word Again, And That Other One, Too!

If you go out on the Internet and look at the chances of success for staying married, you will run into some sobering statistics. The failure rate for first marriages is about 45%, for second marriages it is 60%, and for third marriages it jumps up to 75%. You would think that second and third marriages would be more successful, not less. After all, shouldn’t the spouses learn from their mistakes and not repeat them? What happens that the numbers go up instead of down?

We all know the standard vows that go into a marriage at the start. The minister has us repeat those promises about sticking together through all of the good times and bad times. Pre-marital counseling and courses teach about finances, sex, adjusting to a new lifestyle, getting along with in-laws, and keeping God in the marriage and making Him the third member. In short, how to work together to start this new life called a marriage. Not much time is spent on what happens after a few years together. Maybe there should be a vow added that includes sticking it out through the dull and boring times, promises to not be complacent and not take each other for granted. Anyone in a dangerous or hazardous profession will tell you that complacency kills. Ask any policeman, fireman, airline pilot, or construction worker and they will all say the same thing: getting complacent on the job is a sure way to get injured or killed. Getting complacent in a marriage can also cause injury or death, except the victim is the marriage itself rather that one of the participants. It is when complacency walks in the door that commitment can stroll out, commitment to spouse, commitment to self, commitment to God. Complacency and lack or loss of commitment leads to becoming a divorce statistic.

So, how about the second time around, or the third? There was a movie and a Frank Sinatra song called “The Second Time Around.” They depicted the idea that, if the first marriage failed, the second was true bliss, all of the problems were solved and the couple lived happily ever after. The statistics in the first paragraph clearly show this is not the case, not with a 60% divorce rate for second-timers, or the 75% for third-timers. The obvious answer is the couples see the same pattern being repeated and aren’t willing to stick around. They are complacent in their thinking, assuming that the problems from the prior marriage miraculously fixed themselves and their commitment broke down. The second, or third, divorce is easier than the first. So another marriage dies and adds to the heap of broken dreams, broken marriages, and broken lives.

Could there be another factor hiding there, something subtle, something that exists at the start of those repeats that leads to yet another failure? Remember, 55% of all first marriages SUCCEED! It is the repeat marriages that fail at those sad rates. How about this? A person going into the second or third marriage thinks this time is going to be the real deal, this one is going to last, but, this time the commitment level isn’t the first marriage’s 100%. This time maybe it is 99.999%, or less; and the third timers are maybe 99.5% committed. That is enough to poison the marriage from the beginning, just those small pieces, like having a little toe part of the way out the door, “just in case it doesn’t work out.”

Just think what would happen if, on the marriage day, couples said to each other that they were 110% committed to the marriage. Not 100%, but 110% committed to each other, to the marriage, and that God was going to be an active part of their commitment, to help them when they needed to maintain that level. What if they pledged to ignore the petty annoyances and see their spouse’s goodness instead? People have gotten divorces over toothpaste tubes being squeezed in the middle or toilet paper being mounted the wrong way. Individuals have faults and habits that annoy others, and spouses are no different. Errors, apologies, forgiveness and forgetting the past are all a part of living with another person on a daily basis. If your annoying habit or behavior starts yet another argument,
another fight, are you going to be highly motivated to change, or are you going to just feel your own
anger, resentment, and complacency? What if, instead of anger, it was met with smile, a chuckle, a
shake of the head, and something like, “Yes, I know, you are trying hard to change that…and I know you will someday succeed.”? Would that kind of statement not lead you to be more committed to fixing the problem? Which would motivate you more to change: changing because you love your spouse and are committed to his or her happiness, or because you just want to avoid another fight? What if it took a hundred attempts for your spouse to stop doing whatever bothers you? Is your effort to work on it together until success is achieved not worth the effort? This is especially true of people in second or third marriages who have had a longer lifetime of developing their own ways of doing things, their own habits, and maybe your spouse is the only person who is really bothered by what you do. If your commitment to your spouse is complete, then…shouldn’t you be willing to change your ways to protect the gift that God gave you in putting your spouse into your life?

It is simple: love and commitment, along with God’s grace and a lot of hard work, will make your
marriage successful, it will get you through the high times and the doldrums. Complacency and a lack of complete commitment, even if there is love, will ultimately lead to disaster.

What do you want your marriage to be like, anyway? Committed to success or committed to failure?

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

The Blockade Runner

Okay, it is history lesson time once again. This time it is the American Civil War, 1861 – 1865. One of the biggest problems facing the Confederate States of America, CSA, was getting arms and supplies in order to fight the Union Army. There was a Confederate Navy, but it had just 11 ships at the start of the war, so the CSA had to look for other ways to combat the Union Navy and to get guns, ammunition and supplies. The answer came in the form of blockage runners. These were privately-owned ships sailing under an authorization from the CSA and it was their mission to get the necessary materials to the South. The South was an agrarian economy without any significant industrial base. In order to supply itself, it went to England and France and traded its goods, primarily cotton, for weapons and other necessities. The North tried to prevent this supply effort by stationing its Naval ships near the likely Southern ports, such as New Orleans, Mobile, and Charleston, and form a blockade.

The blockade runners were usually faster, more maneuverable, and well-armed, and their mission was to evade the Union Navy and get the needs goods to port. This effort lasted throughout the war even though port after port was captured. The last significant port after the above were rendered non-available was Galveston. Many of the blockade runners were captured or sunk and it was a case of too little, too late to help the CSA.

As we go through our lives, whether walking, running or stumbling, we are in a constant battle as well. It is our God-given mission to protect and nourish ourselves while always remaining vigilant, on guard against the enemy who would love to destroy us and win us over to his side. We are not strong enough to do this on our own, naturally, so we have to have divine help, we have to have our own blockade. That blockade is God and He is always available to protect us and strengthen our defenses. Just as the Union Navy blocked the Southern ports and prevent the blockade runners for reaching their goals, so too does God help us intercept and block the devil from gaining an entry or foothold in our lives.

The devil is clever, no doubt about it, and he will seek any opening in our nature to get where he wants to go. Instead of bringing supplies as the blockade runners did, he brings destruction and death. He wants nothing more than our immortal soul, or maybe that should be less. When we learn or sense where we are vulnerable and, with God’s help, close down that weakness, the devil searches for another. Make no mistake, he is going to get through from time to time. When that happens, it is time to call out our own army, and there is none better or stronger than our God. With His help, we can avoid capture and win through a victory.

The war will never be over until we are with God in Heaven. The devil, like the blockade runners of old, will try port after port and try to gain a permanent port in our existence. He will never stop trying, he is relentless and determined. He will stop at nothing. His problem is we have God on our side, just waiting for us to ask His help. We can’t win this war for our souls on our own; we need divine help and reinforcements. Stay vigilant, be aware of the tricks of the master trickster, and call upon God in your battle. Losing the war is not an option or choice. Shore up the holes in your personal defenses and dance your victory dance on Heaven’s streets.