Perhaps you have been married for just a few years, or maybe your anniversaries are teenaged, or perhaps the life of your marriage is middle-aged or even approaching elderly. You have settled into a life, a routine, a comfortable and loving existence. You have God in your life, you make Jesus a part of your everyday, both as individuals and as a married couple. Have you started seeing little chips in the floor, tiny frayed places, a noticeable crack now and again? This isn’t a description of your house or apartment, it is about little problems with the marriage…or maybe they are more than little.
Husbands, does this familiar to you? You talk about how well you take care of your wife, you have a good job, a nice place to live, you remember birthdays and anniversaries without being reminded or prompted, or even having to have a popup on your smart phone a couple of weeks ahead of time. You tell her she looks nice, or beautiful, or how much you appreciate how hard she works, outside the home if she has a job, and certainly inside it. Isn’t all of that part of your job as a husband? And if you have kids, you try to give them as much time as you can, to nurture them and bring them up right, to grow into good Christian adults. Do you, however, sometimes get an itch you just can’t scratch? Do you occasionally get that feeling there is something more that you could do to make the marriage better? You firmly believe you are a good husband, that you are doing everything a husband is supposed to do, but somehow it seems the marriage is a little out of kilter, out of focus just a tiny bit. Maybe your verbal comments or silent thoughts about your wife aren’t always that Christian, or you sometimes don’t get around to accomplishing the things you say you will, or at least not in a timely manner. You casually mention that special night your friend’s wife prepared, just a little jab. You aren’t looking for greener grass, but lately you have noticed a few weeds springing up in your marital yard. You are walking a good mile, but it isn’t necessarily a cheerful, Christian mile. Maybe there is the rare dark and stormy day when you think you should have married what’s-her-name.
Wives, does this sound familiar to you? You brag to all of your friends and relatives what a great guy your guy is to you. You tell them how well you take care of him, how you make sure he has a nice home. If you work outside the house, you make sure you balance both levels of responsibility. You tell him he looks handsome, and if he is like a lot of men who have a poor sense of clothing, you take care to make sure his wardrobe is right. If you have kids, you make sure they are taken care of, doing the job of mom-chauffer-doctor-teacher-counselor-coach. Do you get that feeling there is something more that you could do to make the marriage better? Do you also have that same unscratchable itch? You believe you are a good wife, that you are doing everything a wife is supposed to do, but somehow, it seems the marriage is a little out of kilter, out of focus just a tiny bit. Maybe your comments or silent thoughts about your husband aren’t always that Christian, or your criticisms are too frequent, too sharp. You casually mention the romantic thing your friend’s husband did, just a little jab. You aren’t looking at the greener grass, but lately you have noticed a few weeds springing up in your marital yard. You are walking your mile, but it isn’t necessarily a cheerful, Christian mile. Maybe there is even the rare dark and stormy day when you think you should have married what’s-his-name.
Have you noticed something missing in the two above paragraphs? How about L-O-V-E? How about F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N-E-S-S? Well, of course you love your spouse. Don’t you say so at least daily? Don’t you do all of those little things mentioned above? Matthew 5:41 talks about walking not just one mile, but two, with the implication that it is not done while moaning and groaning, but in a cheerful manner. How is your first mile progressing? Maybe that second mile is doing more than what is expected, or doing it not because it is your spousal duty, but doing it out of pure love. Maybe for you that second mile is that F-word above, the one that is tough for all of us. Remember that Forgiving includes Forgetting. If you aren’t forgetting, then you haven’t forgiven. Do you think that once God has forgiven you of your sins, He will keep reminding you of them when you fall again…and again? We Christian spouses are expected to forgive not just seven times or seventy times seven times, but every time. For those who have a problem with that second F-word, then perhaps you need to walk a third mile, if that is what is necessary.
Whatever your mile is, it will lead to a second, a third, and more after that. Some miles will involve a heavy burden, others not so heavy. With Jesus Christ as our partner in our marriage, He is always there to help us when we need it, to carry a part of the load, or sometimes all of it. Remember, He once carried a heavy burden up a lonely hill, just for you. You can struggle under a heavy load, be you husband or wife, or the two of you together, or you can call on Him who is always there. So walk your miles with joy and cheer, in love always, hand in hand with Jesus, the One who taught us to walk.
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