Focus, Focus, Focus

I was recently talking to a lady I work with from time to time and she said something interesting. She said she was talking to her boyfriend and when he said, “I love you”, she responded with, “I love you, too.” He told her she was changing the subject. His point was that he was talking about his feelings for her and instead of focusing on that, she changed the subject and focused on her feelings for him. He said that her attitude at that point was that she heard his statement about his feelings and brushed them aside and, basically, told him that her feelings were more important.

That exchange of feelings is common. We all do it. In fact, we sometimes get our feelings hurt when we tell someone we love them and we don’t get the expected response back. When that is the case, we are again focusing on our wants and not the other person. We say something and what we really want is not to express our feelings for the other person, but to have them validate our needs

It doesn’t have to be a declaration of love, it can be anything that we say to someone else and we want them to hear the message, not change the direction to them or to negate the feeling we have stated. It is like having two people vote for the opposing political candidate; they cancel each other out. When you change the direction of an expressed feeling or thought, you are really canceling the other person out.

Do you do the same thing in your relationship with God? When God is speaking to you or sending a message your way, he wants you to listen and act on what he says. Whether you are seeing the message in the Bible, some phrase that jumps off of the page at you or it is something you hear or feel, what do you do? Of course, what you should do is listen to the message and do, or not do, whatever he is asking of you or just accepting his words. Or, do you take the opportunity to remind God of what YOU want or need? That is akin to saying, “I hear what you are saying, God, but what about me and what I want?” If you treated your best friend that way all of the time, how long would that friendship last? Who is a better best friend than God? Fortunately, he has infinite patience with us and forgives us our self-centered responses.

We don’t always know what God wants of us, that is why he has many ways and people that he puts in our path to get our attention and get the message. He already knows what we want and, if it is good for us, then he will make sure we get it “in due time.” In the meantime, it is up to us to focus on his needs for us so we can do what he needs us to do.

So, where are you focused? Is it internally to take care of your needs first? Should you not be turning your focus on what God wants and let him take care of you and your needs? It certainly works better that way.