Once upon a time, men were men and manly. The dad was the head of the family and his wife and children looked up to him as the leader. He was the one whose praise and approval were most sought. If you messed up, there was no more fear-inducing statement that your mother could make than, “Wait until your father gets home.” His physical stature didn’t matter so much as the stature of his position as the husband and father. He was looked up to and admired. Boys wanted to be what their father was when they grew up. Girls wanted to marry a guy who was just like their dad. It was a time when men, husbands, and fathers, were looked up to and respected just because that is the way it was. Men knew their duty, their place, and acted in that role. Today, that falls under the heading of, “Once upon a time…”
So, what happened to those days? They were depicted in TV shows such as “Father Knows Best” and “My Three Sons”. Sons bragged about their dads, even to the silly, “My dad can beat up your dad!”
Today, we see a totally different picture. Too often we hear women complaining that their husbands do nothing, they don’t take charge or make decisions, or only act when asked rather than initiating action when it is needed. Men today won’t even make a decision about which restaurant to visit when taking their wife out to eat. The awe or fear that was once felt by their children has been replaced by indifference or annoyance and disbelief. Today, men seem to see their role as bringing home the money that buys the bacon. The kids bypass him and go to their mother for the leadership and approval they once received from him. The role that God created in the very beginning for men has, in too many households, disappeared. The sad thing is men have allowed it to happen, and even support the new status quo. They don’t see themselves as leaders. Their attitude seems to be that they can’t change it so they might as well accept it. They grew up in a matriarchal family and handed over the reins to their wives after they got married.
While there are certainly many different ideas and theories why this has happened, here is mine. We are influenced by what we see and hear. One of the strongest sources of that influence is television programming. Since the 1950’s, men have been depicted more as fools than as heroes on situation comedies. The standard scenario is, at the end of the program, the wife comes across as the “wise woman” and the husband is depicted as the bumbler, the fool. Think of the original “I Love Lucy” shows. While Lucy was shown as being foolish and in trouble at the beginning and through the middle of the episode, at the end, it was her husband, Desi, who was the fool and she was the wise one. Carry that same train of thought through “The Dick Van Dyke Show” and others from that era.
Do you want a look at more recent times? How about “Everybody Loves Raymond”? Both Raymond and his father were bumblers, constantly being overshadowed by their wives. The sexual side of marriage was constantly being ridiculed. Raymond was depicted as having to practically beg his wife to make love, and it was often shown as his reward for good behavior rather than a joyous sharing of love and affection between two people who loved each other.
Imagine a scenario for a situation comedy starring three women who live in the same house: a career woman, her sister, who is a professional, and the sister’s teenage daughter. The career woman amuses herself by cruising the bars and bringing home a guy whose name she doesn’t remember the next morning. The professional sister is socially inept, divorced, and unable to form a lasting relationship. The teenage daughter is rude and disrespectful to both of them. Can you just hear the objections from women calling the show degrading, disrespectful, and a total insult to women? Well, that show was on television for many years, except it is called, “Two and A Half Men!” Just think of the picture it portrays of men and how that could influence people and their view of how men act in this society. By the way, who is the “wise woman” in that show? The housekeeper, of course.
Your natural objection to the above is, “But these are just comedies, no one takes them seriously, right?” Perhaps they aren’t meant to be taken seriously, but a sixty year diet of them can’t help but influence how men are looked at and treated. God did not create men to be fools or dunces. He did not set them down to be the servant, but rather to lead, to make the critical decisions that need to be made. It is time for men to return to the role which God ordained in the beginning, not as dictators, but has loving leaders.
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