It is the month of December and you know what that means, right? If you are a football fan, that means the professional season in winding down and the college bowl season is getting ready to start. Almost every day there is a bowl game someplace, with new ones getting started every year. There are the familiar names, like the Rose, Orange, Sugar, and Cotton. We now have bowls with the names of big companies and more plants, like Poinsettia.
What does it take to have the winning team at the final gun of a bowl game? The answers are many but it all boils down to a couple of factors: teamwork and luck. There isn't much that can be done to control luck, good or bad, other than to take advantage of it when it flows your way. There is much that can be done with teamwork. Constant practice on the fundamentals, day after day, even when you have done your part countless times. It is easy to point to the quarterback with the rifle arm, the receiver with hands like glue and running back with wings on his feet and have them stand out as the heros of the day. What we all ignore is the efforts of the linemen, the center, guards, and tackles, who hold back the attacking defenders, open holes for that running back, and make the plays that lead to points on the board. It also takes the efforts of all of the defenders, on the line and in the backfield, to prevent the other team from scoring. Of course, there is the head coach who holds it all together, whose game plan can win or lose the day.
We have all seen it come apart just as easily. It is the player who starts to believe in his own greatness, who puts himself above the needs of the team as a whole, that leads to a downfall and that critical loss. He doesn't see the need to practice as hard as he once did or be in as good a condition as he was on his rise to fame and greatness. Regardless of the position he plays, it can all come down to one team player who stops being a team player, to bring down disaster.
We can apply the above scenario to just about any part of life, from personal to professional. In this case, I am going to apply it to marriage. It may be really obvious where I am going, but sometimes getting back to the basics can shed some new light on things, so here it comes.
When we first get married, we really do not know what we are getting into. We think we do, but in reality it is like getting to the first days of training. We don't know all of the plays and we really don't know the full depth of the two players. That marriage license is really just a license to learn. As the days, months, and years go by, we get better at what we are doing. We find out the actual strengths and weaknesses and how to turn them to the advantage of the marriage. Notice I said "the advantage of the marriage", not of either spouse. This is, after all, about teamwork, not I-work. Remember the old cliche about there being no "I" in "TEAM"? This is most important in terms of your marriage. Each of us has a role to play in the marriage, but the thing to remember is those roles aren't necessarily fixed or rigid. Each of us has to be more of a utility player, one who can play any of several positions depending on the circumstances.
Sometimes, unfortunately, one of the players in the marriage thinks that his or her position is more important and starts to treat the other spouse like a less-important partner. Like the self-important football player and the results on the team's performance, this spouse's pride or actions actually starts doing harm and begins turning a winning season into one that is mediocre and lacking in excitment and luster. As team members, we all want to have a winning season, an undefeated season. Which of us would be satisfied with a 50% winning season? None of us, that is for sure. The spouse who loses focus on the whole of the marriage and focuses on himself or herself is just setting the team up for a losing season. If it goes on long enough, it becomes a completely losing season and we all know what can come next, and often does.
Where are you in your marriage? What kind of team player are you?
One person I have not really mentioned is the coach. When a football team starts to fall apart and the players are not playing as a team, it is the coach's job to pull everyone aside and make sure everyone knows the rules and the goals. He will pull out the playbook and go back to basics and see that everyone reads it. He makes sure, also, that the players know it takes more than reading the playbook to get the job done; it also takes constant practice. Just so, we have a marriage coach, God. We have his playbook, the bible. We also have his assistant coaches, the various ministers who have chosen to do his work. Together, they will help to guide us, shape us, and make certain we know just what we need to do to be winners.
At the end of the professional football season, we have the Super Bowl, a spectical of tremendous energy and celebration. God's Super Bowl is also full of celebration for those couples who play the game to the end and come out winners. He is waiting for us, his winners, to take that celebratory tickertape parade down that sparkling street of gold. It is up to us, all of us who are married, to study the playbook, do the practice, and execute the plan. Who doesn't want to be the winner in God's Marriage Super Bowl? Think of the prize that awaits us!
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