Behind Closed Doors

 If you are old enough or are a fan of old country music, then you probably remember Charlie Rich’s hit single, “Behind Closed Doors” from 1973. The song describes the woman he loves, how she is in public and how loving she is when the doors are closed and they are alone. It was, and is, a great song and it was a #1 hit for him.

There are other things that happen behind closed doors, and I could be talking about abuse of different kinds, like spouse abuse or child abuse, but I’m not. What this is about is closing the doors to keep yourself in and shutting others out.

We all like our privacy and want to be able to choose those who are around us. Sometimes, those who are with us, whether family, friends or acquaintances, do or say something that upsets us. At that point, we separate ourselves from them and go our separate way. There is nothing wrong with that is there? Not usually, but what if that person is a family member or someone who has been that close before? At what point do we draw the line and decide to never talk to that person or be with them again? There are some actions that deserve that treatment, like violence or abuse. What about harsh words, broken promises, or hurt feelings? What about forgiveness?

One of the things that sets Christianity apart from the rest of the world’s religions is its concept of forgiveness. It is a key part of the Lord’s Prayer. Jesus himself said we are to forgive others “seventy times seven times”, which really means there is no limit to the number of times we should forgive. If that is the case, and it is, then why do so many Christians who practice their faith so diligently refuse to forgive others?

Just listen to people who close the door to their homes and their hearts to a family member who has upset them in the past. They have all sorts of reasons or excuses for shutting that person out of their lives. Parents become estranged from their children, siblings no longer talk to each other, and the best of friends shun each other’s presence. I am not talking about a short period of time while someone works off a mad. I am talking about something that may go on for years, something that neither party is willing to resolve. Maybe one party will reach out to the other in an effort to apologize, to heal the hurt, and reunite. The door remains closed. The other party stays behind those closed doors. Where is Christ in that place, in that cold heart? We read in the Bible that if we have a problem with our brother and have brought our gifts to the altar, we are to leave them there and go reconcile first. So, why don’t we? Why do we not follow what Jesus has told us repeatedly to do?

Even the most devout Christian can be fooled by the Father of Lies into thinking they are justified in feeling the way they do. The Enemy cannot help but gloat over the situation, dancing for joy at the havoc he has created. The person behind the closed door can certainly rationalize his or her behavior in some way. Remember though, that “rationalize” is “rational lies” that we tell ourselves to justify words and actions which go against God’s teaching.

Are you hiding behind one of those closed doors? Who are you keeping away? Why? What would happen if you opened that door, if you invited that person back into your heart? Again, remember, I am not talking about someone who presents a danger to you and those you love. I am talking about someone who should be a part of your life but isn’t.

Look around you. Where is that person? Why not have Jesus help you to turn that doorknob and open not just your door but also your heart? You never know what you might find on the other side.